I do most of my everyday shopping at two places: Westside Market and a quirky health food shop on my block called Elm Health. For years I was the resident oddball at Westside Market, but I’d managed to stay relatively anonymous at Elm Health—until recently.
I used to only pop into Elm Health a couple of times a month when I needed some trendy superfood or an oddly specific natural product—bee pollen, a giant bucket of Dead Sea salts, that sort of thing. The store always smelled like vitamins and patchouli, and the layout seemed to change every other week. I’d take deep breaths and try not to scream, “WHERE’S THE TAHINI TODAY?!”
Then, in early February, I went through a kombucha phase and started drinking a lot of it. I’ve always loved the fermented tea’s flavor and probiotic benefits, but I really ramped up my consumption recently. Elm Health turned out to be a kombucha wonderland, and now I find myself there all the time.
I am officially the weird kombucha lady.
There’s a long story about zoning out in front of a mesmerising kombucha display and accidentally singing explicit hip-hop lyrics while blocking staff from restocking the hummus shelf—too much detail for today. The short version: I’ve embraced my kombucha identity and make regular pilgrimages to stock up for daily sipping and for my favorite: Strawberry Kombucha Smoothie Bowls.
I don’t know why I didn’t add kombucha to smoothies sooner—it’s a game changer. If you prefer fruity, refreshing bowls over heavy kale-and-nut-butter blends, this one will satisfy. It’s sweet and tangy with kombucha’s characteristic acidity and invites all kinds of tropical toppings. Nutritionally, it brings vitamin C, antioxidants, omega-3s, and probiotics to support energy, immunity, and a healthy glow.
If you’re new to smoothie bowls, a quick note: a smoothie bowl is thicker than a regular smoothie—closer to soft-serve—so you can eat it with a spoon and pile on toppings you couldn’t fit through a straw. It’s more substantial and more visually appealing, perfect for creative toppings and a satisfying breakfast.
Technique matters because you want a very thick base. Use a high-speed blender if you have one—use the tamper if you do—or stop your blender occasionally to scrape and stir the mixture. Blending may take a few minutes; resist the urge to add extra kombucha or other liquids. Adding more liquid will turn the bowl into a drinkable smoothie, which is not the point. Stay patient and keep blending until you reach a soft-serve consistency.
When the base is smooth and thick, transfer it to a bowl and top however you like. Below I’ve listed my favorite topping ideas, but feel free to customize. Decorating bowls can be relaxing and fun, but there’s no pressure to make elaborate designs—just toss on what you love. If you’re short on time, layer the smoothie and toppings in a portable container and take it with you.
Peace and Friday love.
xo,
Weird Kombucha Lady
Strawberry Kombucha Smoothie Bowl
Ingredients
- 1 cup frozen strawberries
- ¾ cup frozen mango chunks
- ½ large banana, fresh or frozen
- ½ tablespoon chia seeds
- ½ tablespoon extra virgin coconut oil, optional
- ½ cup strawberry-flavored kombucha, or kombucha of your choice
- Suggested Toppings:
- Fresh berries
- Sliced banana
- Sliced kiwi
- Pomegranate arils
- Unsweetened shaved coconut
- Bee pollen
Instructions
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Place all ingredients in a high-speed blender and blend until smooth. Stop to scrape and stir as needed to reach a thick, soft-serve texture.
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Transfer to a bowl and top with your favorite toppings.
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